Day 06 - Difficult Time in My Life

February 03, 2021

As a sanguine, I never feel a rock bottom. I try to always positive and there's always hope or way to achieve that. But I think, my difficult time is when I pursue my degree. I want to study in college which is move far away from my hometown. Far from parents and friends. I feel like being in a ship that was swayed by the hard waves. You can read my story about this here.

Another difficult time for me was when I took care Daddy to fight his sickness. Yeah, last year, twenty twenty hit me so hard.  Beside from Covid 19 that appear in Indonesia (mid of March), my father has pancreas cancer with advanced stage. Damn!! When I hear Daddy's voice on the phone that said he has cancer, I speechless and I don't know what to do. My tears start to fall. I run to my room and cry out loud there. I still remember his voice on my head when he said that. His voice was tremble. I can imagine that he was really shock and want to cry but he hold it.

I try to be positive that he can still live longer. Took him to hospital to get medication. I know it's hard because the doctor said that he can't be cure but the doctor try to medicate him. I still have hope and I think God want to see my faith in Him. If I have faith, I know God can give a miracle for my family.

On March 28th 2020, dad went to hospital and was diagnose with pancreas cancer. Have first chemotherapy on April 3rd 2020 until April 5th 2020, he discharged from the hospital. But went back again on April 7th 2020 to change bandage on his stomach. Suddenly, on April 9th 2020 his condition was drop. We ran quickly to hospital and he has internal bleeding and need took care in ICU. Worse part was when they roentgen his lung, there's bubble in his lung and the doctor diagnose that my father was infected by Covid. So he need ICU isolation for his treatment room. I, my sis, and my mom can't enter that room during his treatment in ICU. Until April 12th 2020, on Easter day, my dad passed away in ICU. Right before that, I still celebrate Easter in virtual with tears upon worship Him and pray that God will give me a miracle to cure my dad. On 3 p.m. that day, God answer my pray with call my dad back home in Heaven. I know God love my father, so right now he rest in peace. ๐Ÿ™‚ Love you always Dad.


  1. "Sanguine" is from DISC test, isn't it?
    Well, i am sanguine too, mbak. Hiihihi

    1. I don't think so. DISC test is Dominance (D), Influence (I), Steadiness (S), and Conscientiousness (C). While sanguine is on classical personality type: Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric or Melancholic.

      Wow we are on the same personality ^^

  2. I'm so sorry and feel terrible that you lost your father. May he rest in peace. To be in the rock bottom position is never easy.

    I never know how do you feel by being a sanguine, because I am a melancholic person anyway. I supposed to feel the very opposite from you :)

    1. Thank you very much kak Intan ☺️☺️
      Yeah it’s never easy... seems there’s no hope in the future but need to face it and to solve it

      Woa, true. Melancholic is very opposite from Sanguine. But the truth is, my second personality is melancholic too ๐Ÿ˜‚
      Can you imagine my personalty?? ๐Ÿ˜‚ be positive but sensitive in the same time.


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